LETTERS TO CHRISTY

Letters to christy  in heaven  Valentines 2016 …my body is healing but broken hearted. I have a box of love tissues sitting on my broken apart dresser .I have beautiful roses along with a good intention , soy candle burning over shiny ornaments and glitter.  There is presecco in a wine glass with a banana and some orange juice and the whole bottle sitting with me upstairs cuz I’m going to drink the whole damn thing ,and this isn’t my first bottle but bottle number two for my valentines  brunch ,followed with maybe three valium and you know that’s being good! Especially during a time like this ,but I love you and I know you’re shining down on me and I know you’d be proud that I’m being “Lopez” again for the moment  right now.  You always looked up to me and admired my moxy.  I love you happy valentines day. Your one soul mate that i know of for all time and I miss you so much.  Until im in heaven please stear me back to myself i love and miss your presence my sweet , beautiful, wondrous friend and soulsister. Maybe help me to find someone similar to you to have in my life . You and me are rarities and oddities very  extinct.  I need your higher power . Wish you could be laying here getting trashed with me watching our favorite movies telling each other how wonderful we are ,and giving me your love in a time of pain and need. This would make everything whole like it always did…but for now i remember you and i send my love to you and i know your sending it back because i feel the strength you always brought out in me. Until we reunite in heaven i will prevail and will carry your love and strength in my heart. happy valentines sweet christy I love you more than i could ever say

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aftermath

Olivia looked over her last 1,000 dollar purchases from the local barnes and nobles. She had dvd cases with workbooks on conquering ailments as well as  stacks of self help books on every subject from how to be a bombshell to how to be an FBI agent, with every intention of cleaning up her life and becoming this cosmic force of wonderment and special well doings. She rolled over pulled a sparkly swirly glass device and began to tell her body to wake up. She began twirling the pipe under a slow and steady flame. The smoke swirled like magic. She slowly inhaled  and exhaled a thick heavy cloud of amazement blown across the room releasing an entity. Now the day was filled with new magic and excitement, and bewilderment for the world of the living.

What had happened to this sweet person we once knew as Olivia??…. The star student, the hard worker , the responsible friend ,and the sweet girl that would never be a bad example? She asked herself this in the back of her mind thinking of days of cheerleading rally routines she used to practice, to beach cleanups for earth clubs that she use to orchestrate when she thought she actually had a shot at saving the world one handed. As the smoke swirled and was inhaled and exhaled into this thick white wonderment of magic continuously out into the room she looked at half undressed bodies strewn from the party that followed her just hours earlier. It was that enchanting hour where she was dilerious upon waking up and ready to be lead by her magical and warped mind that was controlled by substances of all sorts.  A part of Olivia was now always possesed never really truely being olivia, yet being a supreme olivia all at the same time. People wanted to know her, followed her , and wanted to be her. She was a sad wicked essence of mystery  mixed with half a breath of fresh air, entranced in her desires of chaos to experience only magic of the world at all costs including her soul……