Crystal clear that you have no fear that you will penetrate as sincere


Audacity so severe, Psychological is your only atmosphere


Your orgasmic aura of mental bipolarism is all you convey , i have a sixth sense im worthy to play this absurd twisted game of meaningless charades


A true heart im sure you have or im dilusional, or so they say


I’m convinced i can crack the code, but instead you remain as indifferent as a stone


After i step into your illusion of light , with all of my might to realize any elements have been a miss


Did you subtract them , or is this supposed to be a comprimised bliss




M.lopez dec 2005


DECEMBER 13, 2005

First attempts at being myself again

An infinity of blanks is what registers but i know believing only what i see will be my demise
So much substance is unfathomable to describe
Is it really this necessary to remain feeling this empty and bottomless, aching inside
The smile is one of my many disguise
I discovered an inner child thats still waiting and shy
She cried so much i thought i would die
Too mute to let anyone know what she really has to hide
Did my innocence ever exist, or am i just blind
I know this haunting passion can’t possibly be a lie
Passions past i could never despise
I refuse to let this heart contain it’s potentcy of eclectic surprise
Meekness and vibrancy posessed and expelled all at the very same time
Maybe a blessing thats really a twisted curse in disuise
This is supposed to ache, to remind my soul of love and hate
I want to feel this meek heart break , as much and for as long as it can take
Let my emotions overflow beyond an instance of all infinite limits of our societies tastes
Like Scarface i will take your bullets , and wounded i will smile ,and like it and want it for as long as it can last
If your thinking im completely gone you shouldn’t assume such things so fast
Karma still needs to lick or fuck you up the ass
In hopes of fullfilling a purpose ,connecting a missing link, or appraising well loved junk of a worth more than you can speak
To carry this burden of peaks and valleys traveled so sharp and soiled, with only a hint of a glimpse of capturing that love that is impossible to spoil
Willing to sacrifice myself to my heart , I hope thats what it takes to conquere the right to deserve such a wealth
I’m sure I’m a chosen one to represent and parade this crown…of thorns. ..
I have this strengthof this im sure
All i want is just the hope that this may be my awaited bliss owned through these encounters of catastrophic distaste
It is my calling even if it’s done in haste



Olivia wanted to feel beautiful around him. It wasn’t that she thought she wasn’t beautiful or that she didnt believe in her beauty, but it’s that she didnt feel it when she was with him. He never gave her the compliments she desired but he was quick to give them to people of irrelevance. Over time he robbed olivia of her self esteem and confidence . How does one steal this from the most confident girl in the world?!…Olivia was enduring the power of someone that was the most insecure person in the world. He was a slow poison over the years …….

These are the chad chapters ….



Olivia looked over her last 1,000 dollar purchases from the local barnes and nobles. She had dvd cases with workbooks on conquering ailments as well as  stacks of self help books on every subject from how to be a bombshell to how to be an FBI agent, with every intention of cleaning up her life and becoming this cosmic force of wonderment and special well doings. She rolled over pulled a sparkly swirly glass device and began to tell her body to wake up. She began twirling the pipe under a slow and steady flame. The smoke swirled like magic. She slowly inhaled  and exhaled a thick heavy cloud of amazement blown across the room releasing an entity. Now the day was filled with new magic and excitement, and bewilderment for the world of the living.

What had happened to this sweet person we once knew as Olivia??…. The star…

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the big attention whore


  1.                prologue
  2. I walk in a daydream. I have been violated . I thought it was a time for fun but instead it was a time for vengeance. Unbeknownst to me i was being stalked. Stalked by a darkness that was in love with my spirit and the light my soul posessed. It wanted to encompass  my spirit and use its powers to destroy the things that had and would hurt me . It was out for revenge for its own causes of darkness. It needed a host and i was at the wrong place at the right time….
  3.                  chapter 1 
  4.      “Gracie faye muffins! That’s it! That’s your name from now on.” Matter of factly Olivia cooed at her new pet, A beautiful grey and white bangnanease rescue cat with the most…

View original post 510 more words