DECEMBER 13, 2005

First attempts at being myself again

An infinity of blanks is what registers but i know believing only what i see will be my demise
So much substance is unfathomable to describe
Is it really this necessary to remain feeling this empty and bottomless, aching inside
The smile is one of my many disguise
I discovered an inner child thats still waiting and shy
She cried so much i thought i would die
Too mute to let anyone know what she really has to hide
Did my innocence ever exist, or am i just blind
I know this haunting passion can’t possibly be a lie
Passions past i could never despise
I refuse to let this heart contain it’s potentcy of eclectic surprise
Meekness and vibrancy posessed and expelled all at the very same time
Maybe a blessing thats really a twisted curse in disuise
This is supposed to ache, to remind my soul of love and hate
I want to feel this meek heart break , as much and for as long as it can take
Let my emotions overflow beyond an instance of all infinite limits of our societies tastes
Like Scarface i will take your bullets , and wounded i will smile ,and like it and want it for as long as it can last
If your thinking im completely gone you shouldn’t assume such things so fast
Karma still needs to lick or fuck you up the ass
In hopes of fullfilling a purpose ,connecting a missing link, or appraising well loved junk of a worth more than you can speak
To carry this burden of peaks and valleys traveled so sharp and soiled, with only a hint of a glimpse of capturing that love that is impossible to spoil
Willing to sacrifice myself to my heart , I hope thats what it takes to conquere the right to deserve such a wealth
I’m sure I’m a chosen one to represent and parade this crown…of thorns. ..
I have this strengthof this im sure
All i want is just the hope that this may be my awaited bliss owned through these encounters of catastrophic distaste
It is my calling even if it’s done in haste
A HEART LIKE THIS IS NEVER A WASTE

M.LOPEZ 4:14PM

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